24th
July 2014, Thursday
Beaches
have always been so close to my heart. Despite having so much noise ,
I find peace here. It always teaches me something new. Whenever I see
the tides, it reminds me of the dilemmas, the ups & downs of our
lives. High tides when reaches to the shores, tells me the dark &
tough times that we face . How it becomes too difficult for us to
stand there without falling apart, watch it go and cool down. It also
assures me that no matter how high it goes, it will come down. So is
the life. No matter how tough times we are going through, it will
pass.
Today
is one such day . It's again me , the sand and the mighty ocean &
yet again the same me , the same sea, & the same conundrums.
Sitting again on the shores of Kovalam beach, struggling with my own
self to find the peace from the storm of my thoughts. I love coming
here just before the sunset and watch the sun hide below the horizon.
I love to see the moment when the sky covers itself with the orange
blanket and slowly disappears leaving the darkness, the sadness
behind. But assures you at the same time that this sadness will
disappear with a beautiful sunrise, for the sky will again appear
with it's orange skin. Which tells me that the day and night are
connected in a way that one cannot exist without the other but still
cannot co-exist. The same way the earth & the sky can not live
together, despite wanting so much to be together, waiting everyday
for the moment when sun touches the horizon and let them at least
feel that they are cuddling inside the orange blanket. How hard that
feeling would be, to wish every moment of your life to be with the
one you love , yet forever apart.
Despite
trying numerous times, I could not get away with this feeling . Even
after 7 long years , I still feel guilty inside. It's been 7 long
years since I have heard his voice, 7 long years since I have seen
his twinkling eyes, 7 long years since I have seen that
heart-stealing curve on his lips, 7 long years since I have felt his
breath, 7 long years since I have seen his bright face, 7 long years
since I have felt myself into his safest arms, 7 long years since I
have listened to my name in his every heartbeat.
Every time I come here, I go back to that memory lane. It all started 10 years
ago, on 24th July, 2004 . I was sleeping in my cozy bed,
roaming in the dreamland . Suddenly , I heard a shrilled voice that
took me to the real world. My phone was ringing. With my eyes
closed , I picked it up unaware of the fact that the next moment
will change my life forever.
To
be continued.....
