It's not a love story - Part I

24^th July 2014, Thursday

Beaches have always been so close to my heart. Despite having so much noise , I find peace here. It always teaches me something new. Whenever I see the tides, it reminds me of the dilemmas, the ups & downs of our lives. High tides when reaches to the shores, tells me the dark & tough times that we face . How it becomes too difficult for us to stand there without falling apart, watch it go and cool down. It also assures me that no matter how high it goes, it will come down. So is the life. No matter how tough times we are going through, it will pass.

Today is one such day . It's again me , the sand and the mighty ocean & yet again the same me , the same sea, & the same conundrums. Sitting again on the shores of Kovalam beach, struggling with my own self to find the peace from the storm of my thoughts. I love coming here just before the sunset and watch the sun hide below the horizon. I love to see the moment when the sky covers itself with the orange blanket and slowly disappears leaving the darkness, the sadness behind. But assures you at the same time that this sadness will disappear with a beautiful sunrise, for the sky will again appear with it's orange skin. Which tells me that the day and night are connected in a way that one cannot exist without the other but still cannot co-exist. The same way the earth & the sky can not live together, despite wanting so much to be together, waiting everyday for the moment when sun touches the horizon and let them at least feel that they are cuddling inside the orange blanket. How hard that feeling would be, to wish every moment of your life to be with the one you love , yet forever apart.

Despite trying numerous times, I could not get away with this feeling . Even after 7 long years , I still feel guilty inside. It's been 7 long years since I have heard his voice, 7 long years since I have seen his twinkling eyes, 7 long years since I have seen that heart-stealing curve on his lips, 7 long years since I have felt his breath, 7 long years since I have seen his bright face, 7 long years since I have felt myself into his safest arms, 7 long years since I have listened to my name in his every heartbeat.

Every time I come here, I go back to that memory lane. It all started 10 years ago, on 24^th July, 2004 . I was sleeping in my cozy bed, roaming in the dreamland . Suddenly , I heard a shrilled voice that took me to the real world. My phone was ringing. With my eyes closed , I picked it up unaware of the fact that the next moment will change my life forever.

To be continued.....